September 21, 2010 —Even though I wasn’t blogging Halloween last year, the power of Christ still compelled me to document on my TwitPic stream some of the special edition Halloween-themed treats that I bought as an investment into my future obesity. It’s not that I’m gluttonous or lack will power, it’s just that one time I had a visit from my future self who insisted that being fat at some point in my future would save my life, make me rich, and bring peace to the world. He was wearing a silver Lycra unitard, so I believed him. He was also a black man, but he insisted that didn’t matter because time travel is full of paradoxes.
Anyway, I’m not sure why I kept taking pictures of black and orange product packaging just to clog up miles of underground fiber optics. I was new to Twitter at the time, sure…but, honestly, a year later I still haven’t figured out a better use for Twitter than posting pictures of Halloween-themed Oreos and blood-orange-flavored DOTS. I rounded up all those pics from last Halloween and have decided to recycle them here. Because I want to do my part to save the planet, too.
So here you go, the ultimate testament to the absolutely frivolous endeavors that digital cameras make possible. Wait. I forgot about shots of oneself in the mirror. What’s the word for second-to-ultimate?
"Chill to Thrill! Ghosts Change Color!"
The marriage of this product and this monster make me
take more seriously the claims of online dating sites.
The right bodily fluid. The right color.
Blood Orange has to be the perfect Hallowen flavor, right?
The DOTS Bats are blood-orange-flavored.
The magic of Halloween is that even generic candy can be cool (toy not included).
Last year I didn't know whether to eat these or hang them on my wall. This year,
I can tell you that they accent my study decor well (Fun-Size Snickers for size comparison).
Still Chilling, Still Thrilling, Ghosts Still Changing Color.
When companies go all out and change both the packaging and their product
to celebrate the season, it's pretty much the closest thing we have to a Halloween miracle.
For some reason Chips Ahoy! couldn't muster the spirit
for orange chocolate chips. Vampire cookie is cool, though.
At one point in time, Willy Wonka marketed
the purple ones as "Witch's Warts."
My brand image of this particular Willy Wonka candy
is always tainted by Ogre.
All right. Not exactly edible. But I don't believe anybody