Wreck the Halls: The Halloween Fang Shui of Our New Home

September 28, 2017 — This is our first Halloween Season in the Black House. We’ve only been living here since January of this year. This is going to be a very autumn house, I think, once the heat wave dissipates and autumn really kicks in. It’s jet black (hence the name), and ringed by a forest that I hope will soon explode with all the colors of death. But we could be living in contemporary-style adobe split-level in Texas, and still create a cozy, little Halloween bubble by making the inside as Halloween as possible.

And that’s what we always try to do.

Our space this year is much different from our previous home. The rooms here are darker and larger. That means our black cats and ebony bats are harder to make out against the dark paneling. That means that the Halloween décor can get swallowed in the space to the point that the most gaudy decorations come off as subtle.

But that just means we add more and more and more until our fireplace is overflowing with pumpkins and our mantel is buckling under the weight of candles and our coffee table is so bumpy with ceramic monsters that we don’t even have a place to set our heels at the end of the day.

Okay. We didn’t go that far. I mean, our fireplace is overflowing with pumpkins, but other than that, we didn’t shellac the space with spooky. After all, we’re not displaying a collection when we decorate. We just want to change the reality of the room a little bit. To open a portal. A Halloween portal.

And I think we did. Or at least we got close. We’ll need another few Halloweens to really get good at the fang shui of this place. To know exactly how to wreck these halls in just the right way to make it look like anybody who leaves will be chased down the street by the Headless Horseman.

And, of course, Mary the Ray Bradbury Witch watches over it all.

But on our first effort for our first Halloween Season in this house, we did all right. Even with record-breaking heat outside. Even though October is still a few days away. It still feels like our front door should be Jack-o-lantern shaped.

And I’m not just speaking emptily. We’ve already tested it out. The horror movies are definitely better here now. Treats are definitely tastier here now. The scented candles definitely smell better here now.

Here. In the Black House. That I probably need a better name for.