Halloween Die-ary: September 8, 2018

It’s days like today that this die-ary was made for. I don’t think I’ve ever squeezed this much Autumn into a single day this early in the season, and I don’t want to forget it. To the point that I’m half-suspicious I should end the season now. Like if I don’t take down all the pumpkins and replace them with turkeys, I’ll be in danger of going out on the low end of an arc.

We woke to the perfect autumn temperatures. Like 60s. I actually had to put on a sweater. Sweaters are my armor. If I’m wearing one, I can take anything the world throws at me. Anything. Especially if they're cardigans. Tonight’s supposed to descend into the low 50s hereabouts, and judging by the ghost-chills wafting through my open window right now, the weather prognosticators are dead on. That’s blanket-on-the-couch and bonfire-on-the-lawn temps. That’s the-way-life-should-be temps.

First thing on the agenda was to finish the decorations. I’m not going to claim that waking up to a floor strewn with ceramic gourds and plastic bones and rubber vermin was akin to a Christmas morning, but it was better than a cup of coffee for starting the day. I think. I don’t drink coffee. It’s up there with neckties and current events as items a 9-year-old me swore we would never get involved in.

But everything’s in its place now. This house almost feels right. Like this was what it was built to hold. The decor just needs some new batteries and a few finishing touches. I’ll post photos once we reach 100% Halloween equilibrium.

Next, we met friends at Brookdale Fruit Farms in Hollis, New Hampshire. I like this place because it always makes a giant hay man for photo ops. He was just about complete on our visit. We had some BBQ at a food stand, checked out the cider donuts inside and the early pumpkins outside, ogled the pigs and chickens and pheasants in their pens…and then we broke in a corn maze.

That’s broke it in. Not broke into it.

The website for the farm stated that the corn maze was closed, but when we asked about it, they let us in. Apparently, we were the first ones. I assume this because the paths were still carpeted in bent corn instead of hardpacked dirt and the guy who made it asked if he could follow us through the maze because he had just finished it that morning and wanted to witness us test it.

I’ve never broken in a corn maze before.

After that, we hit up their orchards for some apple picking. This is an autumn activity that I haven’t done since, like, high school. I’m not sure why. We always get fresh apples during this time of year, but it’s usually from the bins at the farm stands. Not right off the tree.

I dug it, though. It was a little weird because in the cartoons that are my sum total of experience with 90% of life, apple trees look like oak trees and you need ladders to get to the fruit. Here it was more like shrubbery, although it was early enough in the season that the apples were clustered like grapes, and within mere minutes our bags were so heavy we were looking around the orchard for shopping carts.

From there, we all went to our house, where we lit our Halloween decorations for the first time ever, and then sat down to drink a cordial concoction of bourbon, cider, and mulling spices and watch a spooky movie. We chose Trick ‘r Treat.

Actually, we did far more than just choose Trick ‘r Treat. We introduced our friends to Trick ‘r Treat. Way better than watching a great movie is introducing somebody else to it.

I mean, how are we going to improve on this day?

By the way, I’m still wearing that sweater as I type. And if all it has to protect me from are corn mazes, apple picking, Autumn cocktails, and Halloween movies, I can definitely take it. Throw more of that at me.