September 11, 2019: The Day We Accidentally Trick-or-Treated


Sure, I could hear the neighbor’s lawnmower next door, but I had a witch on my shirt and a can of Downeast Pumpkin Blend Cider in my hand (which I told you last year on this day was the best pumpkin beverage that I’ve ever had, and which I’m telling you this year is the best cider I’ve ever had), so we decided to pull all the Halloween decorations out. That means I laddered up to the attic and stairwelled down to the basement, and made a magical pile of black and orange, cat and raven,  pumpkin and witch, gravestone and ghost.

Normally, we pull everything out into the actual main room we’re trying to decorate. It’s a little bit messy, and not ideal, but this year we realized we had a staging area. See, my garage is empty right now because one of the garage doors is broken and the repairman won’t honor the warranty because he’s diagnosing the issue as an act of God, because he knows him personally, I think. So all that means is the cars are outside in the driveway and we have this big concrete floor space that we can spread out our witches and jack-o’s and black cats like we’re prepping for a yard sale.

And you know what happens next, right? Panic. I’ve told you about this. I always find a new way to panic about Halloween decorations. This year’s panic is that it doesn’t look like we have enough. I know what it is. It’s that pile of Halloween up against the big empty garage, it’s the regret that I don’t have a life-sized Headless Horseman. But I can bottle the panic a bit because today is not Decoration Day. That is another day. Today was the day we rescued all of our freaks and ghouls from the Christmas blowmolds that have been holding them captive in my attic and basement since January.

And mission accomplished.


Oh, and then we accidentally trick-or-treated. While we were getting all the decorations out, my eleven-month-old got her tiny hands on one of those plastic jack-o-lantern trick-or-treat pails that every store sells and whose company is Warren Buffet’s big investment secret, I’m pretty sure. She loved playing with it and, when we decided to take a stroll around the neighborhood afterward, she took it with her in the little red wagon we pulled her in. Basically, we somehow did a practice trick-or-treat run.

However, this won’t be her first Halloween. It’s her second. Although she was only nine days old for the first one.

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