The town was Circleville, Ohio, and when I say we were on Hitler Road, only our Google Maps app claimed that. Hitler Road #1, in fact, which intersects with Hitler Road #2. We didn’t see any physical signs announcing the name, although according to Google Street View they were supposed to be there. We passed an apartment complex, Shawnee Grove Apartments, and wondered if everyone who lives there has a Hitler address.
The cemetery did have a sign. A long metal arch that said Hitler-Ludvig. It also had a Hitler Road address. Not that it needs it. The cemetery is at the intersection of the two Hitlers. I love it when I get to write sentences nobody in the history of the language has ever written before.
The cemetery is small, so it didn’t take long to find our first Hitler. Four Hitlers in a row, in fact. So…many…first…sentences. I didn’t take a photo of all four Hitlers, but the two that I did were named Nellie Hitler and Sterling Hitler. But that was the section of the cemetery for the newly dead. We quickly headed for the old section of the cemetery, where we found a heaping helping of Hitlers. George Hiter, Nelson Hitler. Daniel Hitler. Jacob Hitler. Abraham Hitler. Even Gay Hitler. One count has 18 Hitlers buried in that small graveyard.
Turns out the Hitler family were pioneers who, led by the aforementioned George Hitler, helped establish the town of Circleville in 1799, after making their way there from German-infused Maryland. The names of the Hitler family are all over the town, and not just in this cemetery that they started with the Ludwig family. There’s a park in Circleville named Hitler, for instance. Another road with the name Hitler somewhere else in town. And there used to be a school. I think there are still Hitlers living there today. Almost sounds like the place got close to being named Hitlerville.
Astoundingly, there are a lot of Hitlers out there in the world beyond Ohio. In 2014, a documentary directed by Matthew Ogens was released called Meet the Hitlers. In it, he find families with the name Hitler (and Hittler) to learn what it’s like to bear that ignominious surname. You’d think Hitlers would have to change their name, but apparently it’s only a minor annoyance for some, while others treat their surname as a point of defiance, an F.U. to the Fuhrer. Their family had it first, which is probably true. Hitler’s father was born a Schicklgruber and took on Hitler moniker later in life. Can you imagine a timeline where Shicklegruber was the name of the ultimate evil in the history of the planet?
Still, for all the families named Hitler, I assume it’s a lot of fun to watch people’s doubletakes every time you introduce yourself. Although I'd be saying, "no relation" a lot.
